N.H. a leader in fight against bullying

May 16,2011

By John Weaver

In the wake of the sentences delivered to Massachusetts teenagers associated with the Phoebe Prince suicide investigation, attention has returned to bullying in schools and cyberbullying out of schools. In New Hampshire, we have an aggressive law that has developed over the last decade. New Hampshire passed the "Pupil Safety and Violence Prevention Act" in 2000. It was amended in 2004 and again in 2010. Bullying Police USA, a watchdog organization, has given the law an A++ in response to last year's amendment.

One of the big reasons why Bullying Police USA gave New Hampshire such high marks for its anti-bullying law was the fact that it addresses cyberbullying: bullying or harassment that occurs online via Facebook, instant messages, e-mail, Web pages, and other Internet-based communications. The statute grants schools the authority and responsibility to respond to bullying that occurs out of school, like cyberbullying and text messaging, when it "interferes with a pupil's educational opportunities or substantially disrupts the orderly operations of the school or school-sponsored activity or event."

Under the current law, public school boards had until Jan. 1 of this year to adopt policies that prohibit bullying. Following policy adoption, districts must train their teachers and establish reporting procedures for identified incidents of bullying. New Hampshire's law defines bullying as a single significant incident or a pattern of incidents involving written, verbal, or electronic communication, or a physical act or gesture, or any combination thereof, directed at another pupil which either (1) physically harms a pupil or damages the pupil's property, (2) causes emotional distress to a pupil, (3) interferes with a pupil's educational opportunities, (4) creates a hostile educational environment or (5) substantially disrupts the orderly operation of the school.

What this means is that schools are responsible for providing a safe, secure and respectful learning environment for all students, not just in school buildings, but also online, when kids are susceptible to cyberbullying. This was a new requirement added to the law by the 2010 amendment. Prior to this specific obligation, school officials were uncertain as to the extent of their responsibility to respond to bullying off school grounds. It effectively requires schools to police student-to-student harassment and abuse committed anywhere if it negatively affects their school performance.

The statute also states that when a school receives a report of bullying, whether in school or out of school, it is required to initiate an investigation within five schools days of the principal receiving the report. Further, the principal must take action to remediate the bullying and offer assistance to the students where appropriate. The goal is to stop the bullying, but also to reduce the risk of future incidents. Because of the clear obligations established in New Hampshire's law, teachers and school administrators must take reports of bullying seriously, and parents should take advantage of that. If you believe your child has been bullied, report it to his or her teacher and principal.

But combating bullying requires more than just policies, reporting, and investigations. The starting point for positive school behavior between and among students begins with encouraging and rewarding good behaviors. Parents can assist schools to create programs that promote such behavior. Examples include good citizen of the month, student of the week, above and beyond awards, and other recognition of good behavior that can be incorporated into the school's culture.

Administrators, faculty, school employees, and parents must model respectful and appropriate behavior. Schools must monitor behaviors and not tolerate unacceptable behavior. School administrators should cultivate and promote open communication, an open door to raise concerns, and diversity and inclusion of all members of the school community — students, employees, and parents. A written policy, training and appropriate responses when bullying does occur are the requirements under New Hampshire's law, but providing a healthy, safe and respectful school atmosphere is a school's and parent's best tool to combat bullying in our schools.

John Weaver is a member of the Real Estate Department and the Education Law Practice Group at the law firm of McLane, Graf, Raulerson & Middleton, Professional Association. He can be reached at 628-1442 or john.weaver@mclane.com. The McLane Law Firm has offices in Concord, Manchester and Portsmouth.

http://www.seacoastonline.com/articles/20110516-BIZ-105160305

Fear Is The Bully

by ADAM SCHERR on APRIL 18, 2011

“Mom approves 7-year old for plastic surgery to pin back ears to avoid schoolyard bullying.” This was a headline last Thursday in the NY Daily News. Given my emotional bull in the china shop nature, my emotions ran the gamete. Disbelief, anger, saddness and then a bumpy landing into real concern for OUR children. Now when I say our, I don’t mean mine and my wife’s, I mean US of OuRs.

Now I’m not here to say whether plastic surgery as a preventive measure is right or wrong. Although I am here to say it is merely putting a bandaid on a fatal gunshot wound on the soul of our youth.

The mother said she was upset about her daughters ears. The article didn’t mention how the girl felt. I do know that as a parent I have to constantly pray about not passing any fear to my boys. Fear is the most serious contagion going around. It is the root of “all evils.” The article says further: “kids are mean.” And I say if we are to take this bullying epidemic by the horns, we must start with ourselves. We must stop righting off our children as mean and bad. They aren’t born that way. They learn it. If I want my kids to stop yelling than I need to make sure that I’m not yelling. If my wife and I see our kids talking back to us, we just need to look and see if we are talking back to each other. It does the trick every time. Kids are born perfect. And they have a lifetime warranty. And it is our job to hold onto the warranty and nurture their perfection. Speak to their perfection not to their perceived defaults. That is our job as parents and adults.

The mother said that although she hadn’t been bullied yet, she feared that her daughter’s ears would eventually make her-self conscious and shy. The mother feared all the way to NY, all the way to a plastic surgeon. Having been in fear myself at times, I can only imagine how devastating it must be to be bullied by fear to the point that you take your child half way across the country for them to get plastic surgery, to prevent them from getting bullied in the future. The collective we must take this BULL-ying by it’s horns now. It is time to bully fear and doubt before it bullies anymore of our children.

“Nothing in life is to be feared. It is to be understood.” Marie Curie.
“Keep your fears to yourself but share your courage with others.” Robert Louis Stevenson
“You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.” Mary Manin Morrissey

Make Your Bully Story into a Short Film

By aeisenbe

As this website is titled “Bullying Stories” and shares people’s personal stories, I wanted to share an opportunity you have to have an A-list Actress direct a short story based on your bullying story. You can submit a story to them at their website at http://glamourreelmoments.com. They are looking for a unique story perspective and will have it turned into a short film. It sounds like a great opportunity to turn a negative experience into a positive one.

The details as they describe it are:

“Tell us when you felt PRETTY POWERFUL by standing up to a bully and taking matters into your own hands. What was your moment?”

If you wish to submit a story for them to consider, got to http://glamourreelmoments.com and enter it on their form. Who knows, maybe one of the stories on this site will be seen on the big screen in the future.

An Afternoon that Made Laughter Count for Friends In Deed

Once upon a time a group of smart, talented, funny, kinda' crazy and good souled people got together to form Make Laughter Count. While our primary goal is to integrate musical and comedic talent into programs to stop bullying, our secondary goal is to coordinate fundraising events for organizations whose population has experienced bullying, and where laughter is part of the program.

Recently, we had our first run at coordinating an event for Friends in Deed. They are brilliant and their work has had such a profound impact on the lives of many. Not unlike how the correct formula for concrete is worthwhile to cement in your mind, it is worthwhile to note Friends in Deed’s vision, mission and values:

VISION: Friends In Deed’s vision is a world where no one with a life-threatening illness is frightened and alone... where those overwhelmed by illness, caregiving and grief find support... and where death is not viewed as a failure but as a natural part of the cycle of life.

MISSION: To provide pragmatic emotional and spiritual support for all those affected by life threatening illness, caregiving and grief.

VALUES: Walking the Talk, Authenticity, Integrity, and Accountability.

When I first read their vision, mission and values, and visited their NYC office off hours, I felt a sense of peace. It’s almost like a Zen, spiritual spa. Upon meeting Robert McNamara and Michael Cohen of Friends in Dead I had this sense that they really do live their organization’s vision, mission and values. They too have a Zen Master quality about them. As I got to know them I felt like the Universe is fully aligned with them and the work that they do.

Little did I know that laughter is a big part of the Friends in Deed culture – so it isn’t just about grieving, 'peacing' out, Zen, somber stuff! I asked Robert if laughter is part of the culture of Friends in Deed. When the question was posed, his whole body language changed into this kind of bouncy bundle of joy wrapped in the body of a managing director. He shared that often group sessions at 594 Broadway sound more like a comedy club and people outside their office have trouble reconciling the laughter with the subject matter. Make Laughter Count and Friends in Deed share, among other things, the belief in the healing power of laughter.

We decided to coordinate an Afternoon of Outrageous Laughter at the Gotham Comedy Club to raise funds for them. On Palm Sunday. Oops.

This was the first time our group of smart, talented, funny, kinda’ crazy and good souled people got together to do an event. We came across a few hurdles, and like someone with contact lens problems, we eventually found a solution. At the end of the day, we had a great crowd, made some great new friends and look forward to planning a bigger and better event for benefit of Friends in Deed again.

And…while by no means am I a “comic”, I can deliver a joke and tell a bad pun. The day before the event, we noodled through what we could do to entertain the crowd before the show, and if possible squeeze and extra dollar or two out of our guests. The solution? Yours truly hung a sign around my neck that said: “Knock Knock Jokes and Bad Puns: $1 each”. I worked the room for 20 minutes and made $60 to add to the benefit. Not too bad.

So, since most who read this were likely not there:
Knock Knock.

Who is there?

Hannah.

Hannah who?

Hannah-over some money to Friends in Deed and Make Laughter Count!

-Robert Strand

AHMIR, TICHINA ARNOLD, JESSICA KIRSON STAND UP TO BULLIES

Article from Examiner.com
April 13th, 2011 1:16 pm ET
By Marcello Rollando

Funny ladies TICHINA ARNOLD and JESSICA KIRSON have hooked up to give a serious punch in the face to bullying and once again the hauntingly beautiful voices of AHMIR harmonize in moving video that touches our souls and moves us through tears to action. Like their “IMAGINE” for Tucson healing, AHMIR TV's production of the PERFECT song by PINK, transports us simultaneously to that triangle of Past school days, Present demonstrations against foreign and domestic bullies and Future dominated by the greed of behemoth corporations intent upon bullying world populations into submission to their “New World Order.”

Wherever it appears and however it manifests: wife beaters, cyber stalkers, child molesters or office sexual harassment – all are a sign of weak characters hiding their inadequacy behind a power pretence, imposing intimidation, belittlement, and cruelty on others. That’s what bullying is, the willful suspension of The Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, with all too tragic consequences, as with Laura Smalley who lost her son Ty Field after two years of school bullying.


Perhaps a Boston Massachusetts student Cindy Nguyen’s simple insight is best, “I am against bullying because I believe that people should treat others the way they want to be treated. Bullying needs to stop. After all, what good comes out of bullying anyways?” “… little child will lead them.”


Even the President of the United States was bullied and in many ways, still is. President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama have launched the StopBullying.Gov website with its worthy anti-bullying mission. However, like the President, all of us need help to stop bullying at all levels and in all its incarnations. Even the presidential StopBullying.Gov website needs help to elevate the defeat bullying cause, to victory. To begin with, it needs your support, your visits, your online comments and your demands that it be updated weekly, not only with much-needed current educational information, but with eye-catching web savvy pizzazz that both Excites all ages, especially Middle School through college, and Ignites all to observe, recognize and respond helpfully to any and all bullying in their life, family, neighborhood, world.


However, First Family intervention cannot dissolve bullying alone. This is a world-wide issue for all of humankind, touching all communities, neighbors, friends, families and households. The village bully is someone you know, or maybe even you, and both Bully victim and Bully need emotional, psychological and therapeutic help.






Where to start? As I’ve said, “Always listen to the Children,” but listen with your eyes, mind, and heart as well, to kids like Dalton Letorney and others featured in AHMIR’s PERFECT Video, "I was a victim of bullying last year and understand how hurtful and painful it can be to be made fun of everyday. I never did anything wrong and thought it was my fault, but now, I know better. I don't want kids to feel that they have to be perfect in order to be accepted. I want kids to be themselves and to respect each other's differences. This is why I feel that we all need to take a stand against and stop bullying!"


Listen to TICHINA ARNOLD and JESSICA KIRSON. Listen to PINK’s PERFECT Song as sung by AHMIR.http://youtu.be/gliHyklHr6c
Listen to your teenagers and those with whom they communicate online, from what used to be the safety of their bedrooms. Listen: Bullying is a self-perpetuating phenomenon as student Winnie Huang warns, “Bullying hurts everyone, and ruins people's self-esteem. Victims end up venting their angers on other people and it just becomes an endless cycle of hate.”


As all best new construction starts with strong foundation, while we’re aware globally, let’s act locally. Establish and maintain a physical presence in your local PTA & neighborhood community associations AND be an online contributor, demanding StopBullying.Gov never stops pursuing its Mission.


One easy way to help is to share the PERFECT AHMIR Video performance of PINK’s incredible song, with absolutely everyone you know, but follow-up with organizing and organizations for the safety of our children and all victims of bullies. AHMIR has chosen a new foundation called, Make Laughter Count to support. They are giving 20 % of the proceeds from the sale of Perfect on Itunes. Make Laughter Count is a non-profit organization that brings comedians and entertainers together to help stop bullying and raise funds for charities.


Stand with First Lady Michelle Obama, for this is not a partisan issue, “as parents it breaks our hearts to think that any child feels afraid every day in the classroom, or on the playground or online.” It’s also not just a schoolyard issue for in our high-tech society, bullying can now follow students 24/7 to their homes, even their bedrooms.


So always listen to the children, but don’t stop there. Educate yourself and others, so our country, workplaces, schools, neighborhoods and homes are safe for all, “Womb to Tomb."